The Grimmer Tales
by Sapadu
Summary: Once upon a time, on a planet not far from here, there was a Jedi Knight… there was a hero… there was a prince… there was a witch… there was… a fable.
1. Tale One: The Hutt and the Prisoners

Tale One: The Hutt and the Three Prisoners

Once, a Hutt and his pirate gang attacked a ship full of passengers. As none of the passengers had money or goods, the Hutt, being a cruel and unnatural being, decided to amuse himself with their deaths. So, he had the passengers brought before him, one by one.

The first man was a smuggler. He had been the pilot of the ship, and was arrogant and spat in the Hutt's face.

"Tell me..." The Hutt said, "What makes you happiest. I will take it from you and you will die."

The smuggler laughed a proud laugh.

"My freedom is what makes me happiest, and you cannot take that away from me."

The Hutt thought for a moment, then smiled at his prisoner.

"Your ship is what GIVES you freedom. If I destroy your ship, you will be trapped, forever."

So, the Hutt's pirates destroyed the smuggler's ship. And, just as the Hutt said, the smuggler was so wrought with grief that he had a heart attack and died that night.

So, on the second day, a second prisoner was brought before the Hutt. This man had been a teacher, and was not used to being in so much danger. He cried and screamed and begged for mercy.

"Tell me what makes you happiest." The Hutt told this man, "I will take it from you and you will die."

The teacher sobbed in terror.

"To teach others is what makes me happiest, and you cannot stop me from ever teaching again."

The Hutt thought for a moment, then smiled, once again.

"I will cut out your tongue and hands, and you will be unable to communicate with anyone. If you cannot manage to speak to anyone, you can never teach, ever again."

So, the Hutt's pirates cut out the teacher's tongue and hands with a vibroblade, and burned the stumps of his arms so artificial replacements could never be attached, and cooked the tongue and ate it. Just as the Hutt said, the teacher was so overcome with despair that he killed himself that night.

Then, on the third day, a third prisoner was brought before the Hutt. Unlike the other two, nobody knew what this man was – his clothes were very plain, and he neither spoke to his captors, nor his fellow prisoners. He was so very different that nobody knew what to make of him, for even when he was brought before the Hutt, he was neither struck with terror nor belligerent and angry.

"Tell me what makes you happiest." The Hutt told this man, "I will take it from you and you will die."

The man looked at the Hutt, then slowly shook his head.

"Even if I told you, it would make no difference." The man said, "For death is what awaits me, no matter what I say or do, so I do not fear it. One might even say I am dead, now, for it is my inevitable future."

This response displeased the Hutt, for he banged his fist and demanded to know what made the man happy.

"I do not know, unfortunately." The man replied, "You see, I have never been happy. But, in all my life, I have never been unhappy, either."

Again, the Hutt was angered, and he only demanded further.

"I am only a servant of the Force. It is the will of the Force that I merely exist – you see, since the Force is with me, I am a part of it. And the Force is neither happiness nor unhappiness – it simply exists, like the fire of the stars, or the makings of the planets."

To this, the Hutt became full of rage so great, it seemed like he would burst.

"Tell me what gives you pleasure, then! I will make you suffer by depriving you of it."

The man thought, then simply replied.

"To think is what pleases me. To be able to meditate on the universe and all it's beings – that is the closest I can think of what would make me happy."

The Hutt laughed a horrible laugh.

"Then, I shall take your mind away."

"But if you did that," The man replied, "Then I would be unable to think about my own suffering. So, in it's own way, I would be unable to suffer, just by being so shallow."

Upon hearing this, the Hutt became so filled with rage that he puffed himself up, and up, and up, until he finally exploded.

So the man, whom you might have guessed was a Jedi, left the ship and continued on his journey, neither happy nor unhappy.


	2. Tale Two: The Good Wife and Her Mother

_This following story is from the Hapes cluster, and may explain to many social anthropologists about some of the misandrist aspects of their culture._

Tale Two: The Good Wife and Her Mother

Once upon a time, on the planet of Gallinore, a young girl reached the appropriate age to be married. She found a young man, whom was in good standing with a ship and a home and believed he would make a good husband.

But her mother did not like this young man – she thought he was stupid and worthless, and told her daughter that she could do better. But her daughter would not listen, and the mother eventually gave into her daughter's wishes. The two young ones were wed and the girl went off to live with her husband on the nearby planet of Novi to live.

For awhile, things seemed to be fine for the young couple, but in a few months, the husband started to turn for the worse. He started to work less and less, and squandered their money, and the couple started to run out of food. One day, the girl went into their kitchen and found there was nothing left, and her foolish, lazy husband had no money for them to buy any. So, desperately, the girl cut off her hand, and boiled it in a pot of water all day until she had a stew, and when it came time for dinner, her husband ate it up without a second thought.

The next day, the situation had not changed, so the girl cut off her foot and boiled it into stew, and again the husband ate it up. This continued for some time, as she cut off her arm, then her leg, until there was barely anything left of her but the hand she used to stir the stew and the leg that carried her from room to room.

Now, during all this time, the girl's mother had not heard from her daughter. At first, she assumed it was just an oversight, or that her daughter was simply enjoying her marriage. But, after a year, she began to worry. So, she set out on a journey to Novi, hoping to find her daughter. When she arrived at the husband's house, and found her daughter, hacked to pieces and barely alive, and her daughter's husband, bloated and gluttonously eating the stew made from her daughter's body, the mother flew into a rage. She severed the husband's head from his neck, then slit his stomach open, took out the pieces of her daughter that he'd already consumed, and then took her daughter back to their home on Gallinore.

And, to this day, she has never let her daughter marry again, nor has the girl ever expressed any desire to do so, either.


	3. Tale Three: The Goddess Bhav'anikali

_The following story is from the Twi'lek culture. Its classification has been disputed as both a creation myth and a morality fable about philosophy, so it has been presented in it's fullest to allow the reader to come to their own conclusion._

Tale Three: The Goddess Bhav'anikali

Back when all the worlds had yet to form, there was the bare planet of Ryloth. One day, from it's centermost pole, at the very top of the planet, the first of the Twi'lek people rose from the soil of the barren world. It was the Goddess Bhav'ankali, but as the first, she was only a half-being, missing something to make her whole. She had only one arm and one leg, a single eye, and a single lekku, and her skin was the darkest of blues.

So, because she was incomplete, she was unable to walk, unable to move, and remained motionless, perfectly balanced at the top of the world. The planet did not turn, and there was no morning, day, evening, or night like on other worlds where the Gods could walk and make the planet spin. Ryloth was doomed to be forever trapped, with one side eternally day and one side eternally night. Not only that, but all her people were made in her image – with one arm, and one leg, and only one eye and one lekku.

Bhav'ankali looked down and could see her people on either side, freezing and starving on the dark side, or burning and parched on the light side. In her half-formed state, and at the suffering of her people, she longed to ease the both, so, as she could not go in search of something to complete her, she formulated a plan to have the forces of the galaxy come to her.

Bhav'ankali turned her single eye down and let a single tear fall, and at her foot, there grew a flower. She reached down and picked it, full to the brim with water, and held it perfectly balanced, and then put out the message that if there was a being that could make her spill even a single drop, they could have her for their bride.

Many different Gods came to try their luck. Vay'upavana, whom controls the winds, blew across the light side of Ryloth, for he had no power on the dark side, and caused the ground to loosen and turn to sand, swirl, gust, and buffet about all the people who made their homes on the light side, until every last one had fled for the border between the light and the dark sides. But Bhav'ankali held fast and kept the flower still and the water inside did not even ripple.

Next, Agn'iveda, whom controls fire, sent balls of flame down upon the dark side, for his powers were inconsequential on the light side, compared to the light of Rylot'harun, the star. The people whom had made their homes on the dark side were driven from them as Agn'iveda burnt the land and rent the ground with flaming craters, vaporizing the water and making the ground insubstantial to even hold the weight of a child. But, again, Bhav'ankali was not swayed and did not let the water in the flower even shake.

The star, Ryot'harun, tried to blind her single eye, and bore such heat down on her one side, that he hoped she might collapse. Bhav'ankali simply turned on her toes, slowly, and was unaffected, and kept the water in the flower from spilling.

The rivers of Ryloth, Dan'uveda, all flowed together under her foot and tried to make her sink. Bhav'ankali only set her heel firmly into the bank, causing the rivers to split and run down the sides of the planet, along the edges where all of her people had fled after the first two gods had destroyed their homes.

By now, Bhav'ankali was growing quite desperate, wanting to find some end to her half-nature and that of her people, that she did not know what to do. One day, one of her people came up to her foot and spoke to her, asking why she did not just upset the water, herself, and she could make herself her own bride. The Goddess considered this, and, at last, lifted the flower to her lips and swallowed it, and melted back into the soil of the planet.

Upon seeing what he had done, the loyal follower threw himself into the soil and buried himself to be with his beloved Goddess.

And, from that day forward, all people of Ryloth were born with two arms, two legs, two eyes, and two lekku – one for the day that the Goddess Bhav'ankali rose from the soil of Ryloth, and one for the day she returned to it.


	4. Tale Four: The Strange Droid

_This following story has yet to be identified with any planet or culture of origin. The closest explanation any scholar has made is that it was a fable told originally by the Grand Master Thon in the days of the Jedi Order of the Old Republic. However, even this explanation does not seem very likely._

Tale Four: The Strange Droid

Long ago, on a planet in the Outer Rim there lived a moisture farmer, who led a modest life, not too rich but not too poor and overall very content to go about his simple life. One day, as he was performing maintenance his moisture vaporators. He had a few droids to help him with his work and thought nothing of what he did, nor why, and would have continued thinking so, had a droid not appeared one day. At first, the farmer thought it was one of his own, before he realized it had no properties that could be used in maintaining or operating the machinery.

Puzzled, he stopped what he was doing and walked over to the strange droid, and asked it what it was doing there.

"I am here to gather information. All I ask is that you answer my questions, and then, I shall be on my way."

The farmer didn't quite know what the droid meant by that – after all, who could have possibly sent this droid, and from where? But he saw no harm in answering a few questions, so he set down his tools and offered to cooperate as best he could.

The first question the droid asked was:

"What is your purpose?" This was a strange, vague question and the farmer was unsure how to answer it. He'd never heard of anything like it.

"Well, I'm a moisture farmer, if that's what you mean."

"That is not what I mean." Said the droid, "But since you said that, what is the point of being a moisture farmer?"

"Well, it's to gather water for people to drink."

"And why must you do this?"

"Well, because it's how I get paid."

"And why must you be paid?"

"Well, because I need the money to keep my home and have food to eat."

"And why must you have a home and food?"

"Well, because I won't be able to live, otherwise."

"And why must you live?"

At this, the farmer stammered and stuttered, but was unable to really think of any answer, let alone a good one.

"Well... I just do."

"That is an insufficient answer." Said the droid, "But I see you are confused, so perhaps you are unable to answer that question." The droid thanked him for his time and walked away. But now, the farmer was quite unhappy – the droid's questions had started him thinking quite differently than before. Why WAS he a moisture farmer? Why couldn't he be one of the traders he sold his crop to? Why couldn't he live on a city planet and work on the docks? Why couldn't he buy a ship and travel the galaxy? And why did the money matter? Why not travel to a wild planet and survive off the planet's resources? Why not search for someone else to share that time with, either a friend or a lover or a wife?

Frustrated and unhappy, the farmer threw away his tools and spent an unhappy night for the first time in his life.

Now, during this time, the droid had moved on and met a spacer. This was a man who spent his life piloting a ship for any price or any purpose. He'd done so his whole life, moving from star to star and working any job he could. The spacer had never wanted a home, nor a family, nor friends – simply to fly and be free.

The droid came to him and asked for a moment of his time. The spacer was puzzled, but agreed, for he saw nothing wrong with entertaining a strange droid before sending it back to it's owner.

"What is your purpose?" Asked the strange droid. Like the moisture farmer, the spacer had never been asked this before, but was willing to be a good sport and answered the droid, amiably enough.

"I'm a spacer, if that's what you mean."

Just like with the moisture farmer, the droid replied, "That is not what I mean, but since you say that, what is the point of being a spacer?"

"It's a way to make some money while not having to stay tied down, anywhere."

"And why would you want to make money?"

"It's the only way you can buy anything."

"And why buy anything?"

"It's the stuff you need to stay alive."

"And why would you want to not be tied down, anywhere?"

"It's because you'd only be free if you're not tied down."

"And why would you want to be free?"

"It's better than being tied down to anything."

"And why is it better?"

Just like the moisture farmer, the spacer stumbled and couldn't think of an answer, so all he could manage to reply was,

"...It just is."

"That is an insufficient answer." The droid said, "But I can see you cannot think of a real answer, so perhaps you do not know." Again, the droid thanked the spacer for his time and found a transport to go along its way. But now, the spacer was unhappy – what was so great about being supposedly free and unattached? Why had he wanted this in the first place? How did he know that it would be better than having a place to call home or friends to share his time with? And why BE a spacer, if he really wanted to be free? Why even bother with a ship – one could wander all over any planet their entire life and never see all of it.

The spacer boarded his ship and spent an unhappy night in his cockpit.

During this time, the droid had moved along and met a wealthy aristocrat. He was a man who had a large, luxurious house, a beautiful wife, and seven children. The ships of a complete corporation flew shipment missions and cruises at his command, and he owned well over a third of the planet he lived on. He had never thought much of people who could not live as he did – he simply wished to live as lavishly and comfortably as he could.

The droid came to him and asked for a moment of his time, and the aristocrat, while not generous, was also not mean-spirited and saw no harm in giving a strange droid a few moments to answer some questions.

Like the two men before him, the droid first asked,

"What is your purpose?" Like the men before him, the aristocrat had no idea what to make of this question, but was intrigued enough to humor the odd thing and replied,

"Why, I'm a landowner, a businessman, a husband, and a father, if that's what you mean."

"That is not what I mean, but since you say so, what is the point of owning land?"

"Why, it gives me a place to live, and a way to make money off of the rest of the land I own."

"And what is the point of being a businessman?"

"Why, it's the only decent way to make a living."

"And what is the point of being a husband and father?"

"Why, because I love my wife and children, of course."

"And why do you love them, so?"

Here, the aristocrat sputtered, almost indignant at such a question, but he regained his composure enough to stammer a reply.

"Why... because they love me."

"And why do they love you?"

"Why, because that's just what families do."

"That is an insufficient answer." The droid replied, "But I see that I have offended you, so perhaps you do not wish to answer me." The droid thanked the aristocrat and left his estate.

But now, of course, the aristocrat was unhappy – why had he married his wife and why had she given birth to their children? Was it for their money or their status or looks? Why did all of this money matter to him? What did it matter that he owned a planet or a company or all their ships? Why did he not just sell everything he had and take his family to live on a different planet, with a smaller home and less of what they wanted?

The aristocrat spent the night in a poor temper, which not even his wife could coax him out of.

Now, by this time, there was a Jedi Master traveling through the region, and she heard that a great many people among these planets were very unhappy. She looked about and saw nothing inherently wrong with the system, so she decided to ask the people themselves. A great many of them, including the moisture farmer, the spacer, and the aristocrat – for, if you have not guessed, the droid had spoken with many, many people along its journey – all complained of meeting a strange droid who made it impossible for them to enjoy their lives as they had before.

"It asked me what the point was to doing hard work."

"It asked me what the value was of freedom."

"It asked me why I loved my wife."

The Jedi Master heard these things and was curious to investigate this strange droid, so she asked where she could find it and set out to see what she could do.

She found the droid alone in a desert on one of the moons, and settled down to speak to the droid. Like all the others it asked if it might ask her a few questions.

"You may, but only if I may ask you a question in return." The droid agreed and started with its first question.

"What is your purpose?"

The Jedi Master considered this a moment.

"My purpose is to define my purpose, to undefine what my purpose is not." She responded, "Now, what is your purpose?"

"My purpose is to ask." The droid responded, before adding, "Unfortunately, yours was not a sufficient answer."

"Then I shall try again, if you will answer me again – I found your answer insufficient, as well." The Jedi Master replied, "My purpose is to seek the Force, and upon finding It, to serve."

"My purpose, then, is to observe." The droid answered, "I'm sorry, but your answer was still insufficient."

"Then, I shall answer again, if you will also answer again – Unfortunately, I still found your answer insufficient." The Jedi Master said, again, "My purpose is to be."

"My purpose, then, is to seek the truth." The droid also replied, "Still, that answer is insufficient."

The Jedi Master considered this for a moment before realizing that the droid sitting before her was no ordinary droid, but something entirely different, and would continue to ask and puzzle until the end of time. It was not even a droid, but more like a being of the Force, itself.

What happened after that, nobody knows. Some say the Jedi Master went away from the droid to continue its journey and question all she met. Others say she disappeared into the Force. And still others say she is still sitting in that desert, talking with the strange droid, for all eternity.


	5. Tale Five: The Happiest Man

_This story was originally developed as a storybook, so the use of pictures was originally incorporated to make it's telling more fluid. The editors apologize for being unable to present the tale with it's original illustrations._

Tale Five: The Happiest Man of All

There once was a man who was the happiest man of them all. He lived a peaceful life on a peaceful planet, with a family he loved very much, and who loved him, as well. They were not poor, nor were they rich, and they were not without their own troubles and a little bit of hardship, but for everything that they lacked, they also lacked the troubles that came with them, and always found some joy to live with. And thus, the man was very happy with his life, needing neither wealth nor comfort, so long as he continued to live simply with the ones he loved.

Then, one day, a great plague swept the planet. The man's whole family perished, the planet was ravaged, and the man found himself, suddenly, alone, cold, without a home, and very miserable.

The man lived like this for some time, steadily growing colder and hungrier as the days went by and became years. And during all this time, he was also very, very lonely. The longer the man lived like this, the more miserable he became, until he was so miserable he wanted to die.

When that day came, there also appeared a spaceship. Out of it crawled a creature the size of a Human child. Of course, it was actually a monster, with a tiny body, skinny arms and legs, and a head too big for it's neck. And on that head, the monster had only a pair of eyes for a face, so big that they swallowed up everything else and the man could see himself reflected in them like a pair of mirrors.

However, the man was so unhappy that he did not care. Instead, he watched the monster as it came closer and closer.

"You are unhappy." Said the monster, "You are so unhappy, you are wretched. Would you like me to make you happy again?"

"Oh, I don't think I could ever be made happy again." The man said.

"I can." Said the monster, "Tell me what has made you unhappy, and I shall bring it back to you, but in return, once I have made you happy, you must let me eat you."

"That's alright." The man agreed, for he was sure that the monster would not be able to do such a thing.

And so, the monster took the man's hand and brought him into the ship and in the blink of an eye, they had arrived on a different planet.

The first thing that the man said made him unhappy was that he was cold and hungry. So, when the monster opened the ship's door, the man beheld a sight of a warm sun and a vast array of food, everywhere. The man came out and basked in the warm light and ate as much as he could, until at long last, he was full and warm again, enough to make him full and warm for the rest of his life, he felt.

However, after the man had spent some time on this planet, other ways that he was unhappy started to come to light. The man asked the monster if they could go somewhere else, for another thing that made him unhappy was that he had no home.

So, the monster took him to a planet with buildings as tall as the sky, and all made out of gold. The man was astonished by the sights he saw, and spent many days wandering the streets of the planet, gazing wide-eyed at the glamour of all he could see.

But after a while, he was no longer in awe and told the monster this was not the right place – he missed the rain and the snow and the different types of clouds that used to blow by on a summer's day.

So, the monster took him to a different planet. This planet was made of oceans and seas, and every day, there was a different type of rain, cloud, or mist. For a few days, the man rejoiced in the long forgotten simple joy of standing under a heavy thunderstorm, or watching a cold drizzle from behind a warm window, or walking during a warm sunshower. He even took the monster with him to share the experience.

Alas, the man also eventually grew tired of this and shared his weariness with the monster. He wasn't sure what it was he was missing, but he was still not happy.

So, the monster took him to new planets – there was a planet inhabited by songbird aliens, who sang so beautifully that the man had never heard music like this, before; there was a planet of sand that was gleamed like gold under the sunlight, and was soft enough to roll upon as though it were a carpet; there was a planet made of forests, where there were many animals and beautiful plants that surprised the man with how beautiful everything looked and sounded and the intense smells he'd never believed even existed. The monster took him to places on planets where he could see the landscapes he'd never seen before, do things that he'd never thought to do, hear new music, see new art, meet new people.

But still, the man was not happy.

Finally, the monster brought him to a planet unlike any other the man had been to before – it was exactly like his old home, before the plague. The land was soft and grassy, and on some days it rained, other days the sun shone brightly, others had windy storms, and others had absolute quiet. The man lived here for some time – each day was calm and peaceful, and a perfect balance between all of the different extremes the man had seen on all those different planets the monster had taken him to.

The man lived here for a long time, still feeling that something was not quite right. Then, one day, the monster came to talk to him, and the man sighed.

"I'm sorry. I know you have done so much for me, but what really makes me so sad is that I no longer have my family. I miss them so much that I could never be happy again."

"That is sad." The monster agreed, "But, unfortunately, I cannot bring your family back to you."

This made the man sigh again.

"But I can send you to where they are." The monster opened himself up and took out his heart and his liver and handed them to the man, "Here, eat these – you will be able to see your family again if you do that."

The man took the monster's heart and liver, but stopped short of eating them.

"What will happen to you if I eat them?" Asked the man.

"I will die." Said the monster.

The man looked at the monster, then at the heart and liver in his hands, then slowly shook his head and handed them back to the monster.

"I am very sorry. I know you only want to help me, but you have been so kind to me all this time, and if I were to repay you in such a horrible way, I would never be able to be happy with myself and what I have done."

The monster took his heart and liver back and stared at the man for a long time. Slowly, the man started to smile, and the monster's eyes started to shrink, to reveal the face of a sweet, young child, with beautiful round cheeks and an angelic smile.

And then, the monster gobbled the man up and swallowed him whole.

And the man was very happy, inside the monster's stomach.


	6. Tale Six: The Wicked King and the Prince

_The following tale was found inside another picture-book inside the library of the CMC. It appears to have been a self-made and published story, so the editors are unable to explain the origins of the story to follow._

Tale Six: The Wicked King and the Young Prince

Once upon a time, on a planet far away, there was a kingdom that was peaceful and wealthy. It had the largest, best trained army and fleet of any planet in the region, and because of this, it ruled over a great expanse of many other planets and never had to fear attacks from any enemies.

However, the king was a wicked man, who ruled his people cruelly and kept the wealth of the kingdom under his direct control. So, the kingdom was safe, only because the army of the king's mercilessly destroyed anyone who opposed the king, and the kingdom was wealthy, only because the king held the economy in balance for his own interests. Many of the people went hungry, had no freedom, and lived in fear and anguish.

Now, the wicked king had a son, whom was nothing like his father, but kind and gentle. Ever since he was born, he wanted to see the people of the kingdom fare better than their evil ruler allowed, and would try as best he could to be kind and generous. However, his father was such a hated man that the people only feared and despised the son. Having realized this, the son went to his father, day after day, pleading and entreating him to change his rule and be a goodly man. For many years, the son's pleas went unheeded, until one day, he stood before the wicked king and said,

"Father, if you will not rule your people with a benevolent sovereignty, then you shall be my enemy from this day forward, and I will do everything in my power to topple you from your throne and bring peace to this kingdom!"

The wicked king was displeased with this, and responded to his son,

"If you will speak to me with such insolence, then you shall no longer be welcome in this kingdom, nor on any of the other planets under my rule." And with that, he banished his son, put him in a ship, and sent him off to the other end of the galaxy, to a desolate planet from which he could never return.

During this time, the son grew angry and weary, until he reached the planet of his destination and determined to start a life of his own, without the help of any servants nor droids nor even passing persons whom he might meet. In time, the son grew older and more wretched, until he one day found himself all alone, and no longer kind and gentle as he had once been. When he realized what he had made of himself, the son sat down beside the abandoned ship he had made into his home and wept.

Hearing his cries, there came a young woman, and when the son saw her and bade her to go away and leave him in his wretchedness, she simply smiled and stayed at his side.

"I could not abandon someone whom is in need of help. It would be remiss of my duties to the galaxy."

"But I am a foul, horrid creature. I have made everyone about me miserable, and all for naught."

"Nothing is for naught, for there is also nothing for gain. When we are all born, we will inevitably die, but for that, there is no cause for fear or despair. It is simply the way of the Force."

"Whatever this Force of yours is, I wish it well. Leave me – I am beyond it's reach."

"Nobody is without the Force. The Force is with me, as it is with you. We are both a part of it, and thus, we are a part of one another. I will not leave."

"But I am a fright – can you tell me that you do not see my face and think me a monster?"

"My eyes show me nothing. I only feel that you are a person, just as I am. Perhaps it is your eyes that deceive you."

The girl was a Jedi Knight, one whom was every bit as kind and gentle as the son had once been. With her help, the son moved on to make a place for himself to call home, and they lived a great many years together. Then, one day, when the son had grown into a man and the girl had become a woman and a Jedi Master, they conceived a child of their own and lived quite happily together for some time.

Then, after the man had grown old and weary of life, his own son came to him and asked,

"Father, you have never told me about my grandfather, nor the world from which you came. Tell me – who am I descended from, and what is in my blood." And the man sighed and reluctantly told his son the story of the wicked king, the worlds he ruled with a merciless grip, and how he had banished his own son from the kingdom, and the man's long forgotten, bitter vow to obliterate the wicked king's rule.

Upon hearing this, the young Prince stood and replied,

"Then, I shall go in your place, and bring the people of those worlds peace and freedom from their evil ruler."

The man shook his head, sorrowfully, and said,

"You mustn't – I carried those thoughts for a great many years when I was young and they were a heavy burden, which turned me into the wretch I am, today."

"But..." Reasoned the young Prince, "It was not just those thoughts, but the pain that you were unable to keep your vow and bring peace to those you swore to protect. As your son, and also a descendant of this king, it lays on my shoulders to fulfill your wish."

Still, the man would not give his son leave to go.

The young Prince pleaded, "If not for the sake of those people whom I must be sworn to protect, then to ease my father's suffering."

At last, the man relented and gave his son his permission to set out on his journey, and bade him to trust in the Force as his Jedi mother had once done, and sent him, first, in search of a Jedi Master to aid him in his quest. As bidden, the young Prince boarded the ship his father had once traveled in and went among the stars to find a Master.

Along the way, he met another young man, whom also had faith in the Force, and a mission that he had sworn to complete, and they spent many years together in their training. As the years went by, the two young men grew in their strength, but also as friends to each other. The young Prince learned more of the ways of the Jedi, as well as the mind of a spy to one day penetrate the kingdom from within, and the skills of a warrior to one day slay the king. Then, one day, the young Prince told his companion of his heritage, and his quest to topple his grandfather from his throne.

"I understand. We each have our own destinies, and we must each do as we see fit." Agreed the young Prince's companion, but from that day onward, the two of them grew more distant, until at last the young Prince confronted his friend.

"Is it the blood in my veins that repels you from me? Is it my mission, to complete that which my father was too weak to do? Why do you treat me so coldly, unlike before?"

The friend sadly shook his head.

"It is neither of those things – those things were bestowed upon you, long before you were born." He said, sorrowfully, "It is for you have given yourself over to the Dark Side – you are no longer the kind friend I once trusted, but a vile man whose only thought is to spill blood."

"But this is what I must do – it is not my choice, for I must restore my father's honor and dignity, and avenge the injustice the wicked king has wrought."

"I, too, carry the blood of a wicked man, and the mission to undo his wrongdoings from the galaxy – yet, I have not become as you are. Your passions are what blind you, and now, you see nothing but that end. You have become just as wicked as the king you have sworn to slay." With this, the young Prince's parted ways with him, leaving the young Prince alone in the cold darkness of space to sit and ponder his companion's words. When the young Prince next came to a planet and saw himself clearly, he saw his own face and how it had been warped by his own hatred for his grandfather.

In that moment, the young Prince understood what his father had meant in trying to keep him from this quest. The young Prince was filled with great despair, and flung himself into the farthest reaches of the galaxy, hoping to escape his own evil desires and the Dark Side that consumed him.

When, at last, the young Prince had flown his ship far enough, he had reached the end of the universe and could go no further. There, he met a strange being – a woman whose face appeared to be young, but whom had, in truth, been alive since the beginning of time and would live until the end, and who could sit calmly in the void of space with no need of a ship or even substance to sustain herself. She was the witch – a creature whom supposedly served the Force, but for which end, nobody could tell.

The Witch said to the young Prince, "If you are wretched and in despair, why do you come to me?"

"I don't know."

"Then, why not simply end your life and spare yourself from ever being tempted by the Dark Side?"

"But if I were to do that, then I would surely never fulfill my father's vow."

"Then, why do you hesitate and not simply go and be done with it?"

"I know that what my friend said is true – I have become wicked, and if I were to do as I have sworn in malice, it would not ease my own suffering."

The Witch considered these answers and finally, seemed to take pity on the young Prince.

"In that case, I will help you in your quest, if you will do me three tasks." She bade him, "The first, you must go about the galaxy and find me the single most valuable entity that has ever existed."

The young Prince returned to the galaxy and searched among the planets, asking of every person he met what the most valuable entity was. Finally, he came upon a mother whom told him health was most valuable – for she had a sick child, whom was miserable and no medicine could cure. The young Prince went with her to see her child and was able to cure the illness with what he had learned in his training in the Force. He then left the mother some money to pay for the rest of the medicine the child would need and left, thanking her.

Next, he met a boy whom told him that food was most valuable – for he and his sister had been hungry for three days. The young Prince gave them some of his own food, as well as a few other things to sell, which they might be able to feed themselves and find a way to a home that could keep them. Then, he gave them his thanks and left.

Next, he came upon a drifting creature whom had nowhere to call home and no means to make one and told him that knowledge was most valuable – for he was stupid and could not find anyone whom would give him work. The young Prince gave the man his terminal, with which he might become learned and wise, then left while bestowing the man with his gratitude.

Next, he met a young woman whom told him that freedom was most valuable – for she had been wrongfully accused of some maliciousness and was now not only scorned by the planet she lived on, but deemed unworthy of even the freedom to leave those who reviled her and abused her for the falsehood. The young Prince gave the woman his ship, and everything in it, then bade her farewell with his thanks.

When the young Prince had nothing – barely even clothes on his back – he returned to the Witch with his answer.

"The most valuable entity in existence is the burden of having nothing, for nothing can then bind you, distract you, nor be taken from you, and thereby, you have nothing to fear or suffer."

The Witch was displeased that she had received nothing, so she bade him her second task.

"Go about the galaxy and find a being whom is the most superior of all beings in the galaxy."

The young Prince did as she commanded, but could find no such person. Each person he met either had a fault which they could not change, nor admit to, or they were so encompassed by their faultiness that there was nothing about them that could be deemed a person. He traveled about until he could no longer distinguish the people he met from one another, or even himself. When he at last returned, empty-handed, to the Witch, he could only offer himself as a specimen of all inferior beings, for all were one, and therefore, none was superior to another.

Again, the Witch was displeased that the young Prince had brought her nothing, so she set him about her third task.

"This time, go into the galaxy and bring me a child – any will do – and once you have found one, you will kill it and give me it's head."

The young Prince was shocked at this request, but sadly went away to do as he was told. He went across many systems, looking through every city on the planets made of nothing but cities, and every herd on planets whom had no civilized lifeforms of any kind. After a long time, he regretfully returned to the Witch, this time with nothing, not even an answer he could give her. Instead, he begged her to take his head, since he could not have brought himself to take the life of any child.

At this, the Witch pulled her young face off and revealed the face of the Prince's own mother underneath it.

"You understand that you have passed my tests, then." She told him, "For the first, you learned to surmount greed and desire for base wants. So, I shall give you a gift of a ship that will bear you to your destination." She did so, and a fine ship it was – enough that it could have been home to as many beings as ever wanted for a home.

The Witch shed her face, again, this time becoming the Prince's father.

"For the second test, you learned that all is one, and one is all, and that the Force is thus within us all. For this, I shall give you a weapon, with which you may destroy either the evil that lurks within your own heart, or without it and plagues the galaxy." She did so, and the Prince held in his hands a lightsaber that was small and slender, with a blade the pure, untainted color of silver.

Again, the Witch's face melted away, this final time revealing the face of the Wicked King that the Prince had left home to slay.

"Your final test was to show mercy and respect for life and the Force in all it's forms. You did not inflict harm on any being... but you went away from here, with the intention of at least entertaining the notion. This, you must never do – not even in falsehood. For this, your last gift shall be a curse, as well." Saying so, the Witch held up a bolt, as though fired from a blaster, and thrust it into the Prince's chest so that it lodged in his heart, "This will cause you great pain, and even kill you, unless you retain a life of balance. Now, go from here, and do not forget what you have learned."

Saying this, the young Prince left the Witch's abode and returned to the galaxy, traveling planet to planet until he at long last reached the heart of the kingdom his father had been banished from. But, upon landing and stepping into the kingdom, the young Prince looked about and saw nothing of the cruel king that had caused his subjects so much misery. There were no soldiers, no hungry people in the streets, no signs of squalor or disrepair, and no signs of fear or anguish from the people.

Finally, he asked one of the people as they passed what had happened to this planet. They told him, then, of the brave Jedi who came and defeated the king, many years ago. How then, the people had risen up against the soldiers and formed their own system of rule, and now, the planet was prosperous and happy – why, the Jedi Knight whom had freed them was now living there, quite happily married to one of the wicked king's old advisors. When the young Prince asked further about this Jedi, he even learned it was his old companion, whom he had parted ways with years ago.

When the young Prince had heard the entirety of the story, he simply returned to his ship, boarded, and flew off, far away into space. And he was never seen, nor heard from, again.

_"Does the Prince live happily ever after?"_

_"No one knows."_

A/N: The new year has started and the most popular thing I've posted on this site - by an overwhelming majority - is Love Knows No Circuits. I still don't get it.


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